Supporting children through life stressors

Written by Becca Fredrickson, OTD, OTR/L

Supporting Children Through Life Stressors

“A child’s ability to regulate stress is largely shaped by their relationship with their primary caregiver. In moments of distress, children instinctively seek comfort and co-regulation from caregivers, who help them process their experiences.”

Supporting Children Through Life Stressors

The landmark 1998 study by Felitti et al. on Adverse Childhood Experiences (ACEs) significantly advanced our understanding of how early life stress contributes to lifelong mental and physical health challenges. ACE scores range from 0 to 10, determined through a survey assessing ten types of adversity—five related to direct experiences such as abuse or neglect and five tied to household challenges like mental illness, substance abuse, or parental conflict. Research consistently demonstrates that as ACE scores increase, so does the likelihood and severity of mental and physical health issues in adulthood. While we cannot always shield our children from life’s stressors, we can equip them with the tools to navigate challenges effectively. One such approach is co-regulation, a technique that fosters emotional resilience by helping children manage stress through supportive caregiver interactions.

The Role of Caregivers in Stress Regulation

A child’s ability to regulate stress is largely shaped by their relationship with their primary caregiver. In moments of distress, children instinctively seek comfort and co-regulation from caregivers, who help them process their experiences. Co-regulation is the interactive process through which caregivers provide support, guidance, and soothing to help children manage their emotions and stress. For this process to be effective, caregivers must be emotionally available and attuned to their child’s needs. However, caregivers experiencing significant stress or trauma themselves may struggle with this role, leaving children to rely on immature self-regulation strategies. This can result in a chronic fight-or-flight state, particularly if the child perceives their environment as unsafe due to the caregiver’s own distress. Parents of children with special needs often report challenges with their own self-regulation due to their child's difficulties with sensory processing. Occupational therapists play a crucial role in breaking the cycle of stress and trauma by equipping caregivers with co-regulation strategies while also supporting children to develop new skills. Encouragingly, many caregivers recognize their own ACE scores and express a strong desire to change patterns of adversity for their children. By fostering healthy caregiver-child interactions, occupational therapists help build resilience and promote long-term well-being for the whole family unit.

Examples of Co-Regulation Strategies

Some common co-regulation strategies an occupational therapist may recommend include:

● Deep breathing exercises to promote relaxation and stress reduction.

● Sensory-based activities, such as weighted blankets or fidget tools, to support emotional regulation.

● Predictable routines that provide stability and security.

● Verbal and nonverbal reassurance, such as eye contact, gentle touch, and a calm tone of voice, to reinforce safety.

● Engaging in shared play to strengthen caregiver-child connections.

● Modeling self-regulation so children can learn by example.

● Creating a safe space for emotional expression to encourage open communication.

By implementing these strategies, caregivers can help children develop the ability to manage stress independently over time, ultimately strengthening both emotional resilience and the caregiver-child bond. With ongoing support and guidance from professionals like occupational therapists, families can work toward breaking intergenerational cycles of adversity and fostering healthier, more resilient futures.